New Year, New Me

Happy New Year!

      I don't generally hold much stock in judging life by each year, but I'm feeling especially invigorated today due to the fact that I've just realized something fully for the first time, and am eager to begin looking at my life in a new way.

     Before I venture into the life-altering perspective, let me talk briefly about Doctor Who. Currently, I am at the start of Season Four (featuring David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor), and I am proud to announce that I am officially a 'Whovian'. I wasn't sure I'd reach this point, and I think it's funny that it happened to me while Martha was the Doctor's companion (I much preferred Rose, but I do like Martha quite a lot). I think what really began my love for the series was the profound feeling I felt in regard to 'The Face of Bo'. I apologize to those of you who aren't familiar with the series. But those who are: did you feel emotionally attached to 'The Face of Bo'? There is something beautiful and meaninful in his long life, all of the misery and life he saw. It was moving to me. And then I fell for David Tennant, and it was all over.
    Regardless, I still plan to cosplay the Eleventh Doctor (I already have most of the cosplay: I have the bowtie and suspenders, courtesy of my family). I am looking forward to watching more episodes with Eleven, because I've been told I'm the right match for him.
     
    Now about my new-found feeling of... hope, I suppose: I was reading 'Anthem' by Ayn Rand, and by the end of the book I realized that I've been feeling guilty for ridiculous reasons. Why should I feel guilty for something that has harmed no one? To me this means I should be free-- free to do what I want with my time, my money, and my passion, because it is MY life. It was given to me to do as I please. Though I knew this before I didn't take into consideration that my guilt was actually useless. It serves me no good to feel guilty for buying things for cosplay, or spending a lot of time editing videos and filming and creating-- only if it makes me feel good, feel happy. Isn't that the beauty of being alive in the first place? Enjoying yourself? As long as your enjoyment isn't coming from taking from others, you should be free to do as you like (within reason, of course) without feeling ashamed or guilty.
     There have been many people who message me saying that their families don't approve of cosplay, so they feel as though they have to hide the fact they like anime, and can't talk to their friends about it, or mention it in public. Really, why? Does it matter what they think? If it puts you in danger then you should consider keeping it to yourself; otherwise let people know what you like to do. Share it with them. They may not understand just yet-- perhaps someday they will realize that you are who you are, and their disapproval couldn't change you.
   It feels like a new lease on life, a new attitude-- something positive. I don't like to be a negative person (though I've been informed many times that I am). If only for today I feel like something great is coming, a good feeling that I am going to hold onto for myself, simply because I want to. I want to be happy. I create my own happiness.
   Many people have personal resolutions for the New Year, but this year I'm not setting any boundaries for myself. I will continue to do what I love only because I love it, and keep myself focused on the present and enjoying the things I do, not about the final product. Over the past year I've forgotten the things I really love to do: the mundane took it away from me. I love to cook, I love to read, I love to sing and play the keyboard even if I'm not any good at it. I love to sit and dream and think of dreadfully wonderful stories, to play darts, to make videos with my best friends, to do things just because they amuse me. This year I am determined to be true to myself.

   This journal is getting lengthy. What are your resolutions, if you have any? What would you like to change about your own life?

            -R