Moving On

       It's funny-- a year ago on this day I wrote a journal entry called 'Feeling Like September'. I like to go back sometimes and see what things were happening in my life back when I wrote them. It brings up the same feelings I had back then; it's nostalgic. This time last year I was filming 'Death Note: Another Note', a video which has been banned in most countries due to music content. I have to try and have it unlocked, but I'm still feeling pissy about it so I'm going to wait a little while longer.

      September is definitely in the air. We had a strangely (and wonderfully) cool summer this year, something which I was very thankful for. I'm not ready for this summer to end, even though it didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. For me summer is not only an escape, it's also a time of creativity and productivity. Some personal life events overwhelmed me this summer, and I haven't done many things I wanted to do. I had a lot of CMV's and specific videos I wanted to make, most of which never happened. I also wanted to write my story, but the weight on my mind leeched any inspiration or motivation I had to take charge and move forward. Now I don't have a choice-- I'm struggling to put the past behind me and accept how things are now. They are different and sometimes painful. It doesn't mean that things have never been this way before, so I can do it all over again with minor differences (like an alternate universe). Perhaps another version of me has the ending she hoped for, and I'm dreaming that she is very happy wherever she is.

    Still, this self has a lot of work to do, and a lot of play as well. I recently (as in last night) finished a Medieval/Casual version of my Loki cosplay that I'll be wearing to the Renaissance Festival this year. I love it to pieces, even though it was an easy costume to make. It'll be very convenient when we film videos as Thor and Loki, so we don't swelter to death when it isn't winter or the skit isn't formal. Guess' Medieval Thor is looking great too-- she's working on Mjolnir (Thor's hammer) and it's turning out beautifully.

   My next ambitions are to work on a few different cosplays. Finishing Dave Strider (just need the shirt, then suit version for Youmacon), finishing detailing on my Loki costume for Youmacon, and finally, finally starting my Edward Scissorhands cosplay. I have to start. It's been far too long, and I'm tired of dreaming. It's my dream cosplay and I want it so very badly-- it's up to me to make it happen. My goal is to have it finished before Youmacon. I have a plan, it's just putting it into action that worries me. It's all in good fun.

      As some of you may know I'm moving for college this year. Guess (my older sister) and I are renting an apartment. Today we moved her out of her old apartment, so it's just a matter of time before we move into ours. It's about 45 minutes away from home and from the rest of CupofSquirrel. We're probably going to be home on weekends (or at least Sundays) to hang out with the group, but I know it's not going to be every weekend. It'll be different, and I don't know how much I'll enjoy it. But it's just another way of moving on with my life and experiencing new places and people. It might be good for me, so here's hoping it brings about some better changes in me.

-R